Originally Written on May 03, 2016
Here lately, I have noticed my feed overflowing with image posts about love and relationships. It’s not just one person, it’s many of the people I have friended on Facebook. This isn’t a judgement on those individuals, it’s an acknowledgement of their pain. While I haven’t felt their hurts, I have felt similar pains of my own. I consider those hurts and pains to be both a blessing and curse.
You see, I am terrible with interpersonal relationships. I tend to freak people out and more often than not I don’t know how to make others understand that what they attribute my actions to are defined the same way.
Love and relationships have become to mottled and perverted by our current world. Commonly, they are considered one in the same. If I said I was in a relationship with someone, it automatically assumed we are in a romantic relationship. If you try to correct that idea, all you get is, “Uh, huh. Right.” People expect love to be this grand romance between themselves and someone. It isn’t to me. I have relationships with people that have nothing to do with romantic involvement or sex. I love. I love unconditionally. Without any expectation of return, because I don’t regard love as a romantic interest.
Love is knowing a person. Love is compassion. Love is seeing the darkness in someone and not running. Love is never about hoping to spend a lifetime with someone, but being there for them in their lifetime, even if you aren't a part of it. Love is wanting for their happiness above your own.
Love isn't the way someone makes you feel. Love isn't filling some void in your life. Only you can fill that void.
I don’t give my love away freely. I don’t tell those I love, that I do love them. I don’t because of this preconceived notion of what love is. I used to think I wanted that notion too. I have resigned to the idea that not everyone is meant to be with someone. I am okay with that. I don’t mind being alone. I do miss the company of others, but alone is better than attached in a bad situation. I love me and that’s all that I need, no one else knows how to. That’s okay.